number1dramaqueen

Many years ago she left home and vowed to never speak to her father or mother again.

You see she was a daddy’s girl in a very wrong way. The very first time her father molested her she was ten.

She spent a good portion of her life living in fear. Hearing his car pull into the driveway she would instinctively disappear out the back door. Trust me if you had to endure the horrors she did you would learn survival skills too. She would disappear before he could make it from the driveway to the front door!

She knew in most cases she was only delaying the inevitable but sometimes she was lucky! Lucky to find her father passed out in front of the T.V. when she returned. On those nights she would quickly shower to ensure she could be up and dressed long before he arose the next morning.

Sadly, during those nightly visits her mother never took the initiative to come to her rescue. She felt her mother was aware of what was happening to her because she could never quite look at her the morning after. She used to hear people reference a mother protecting their child from a predator to the ferociousness of a mother bear protecting its cub. Too bad her mother didn’t have that trait.

So, she never spoke about it out loud in her mother’s presence for fear of seeing the acknowledgement in her eyes…that her heart couldn’t bear. It would have been too much!

To make matters worse her father said to her one night when she cried out that she was going to tell her mother. “What can she do?” “Where will she go?” “She’s nothing without me!”

Unfortunately, her mother was also a victim. Her father would verbally abuse his wife. Often calling her worthless if dinner wasn’t warmed and on the table when he walked in the door. If she dared voice an opinion that opposed his philosophy or corrected him when he misspoke he would slap her across the mouth accusing her of disrespect!

Eventually, her mother learned to play the game. So much so until she took on the persona of a robot in the presence of her tormentor.

So needless to say, she left as soon as she could get away and cut all communications with both her mother and her father.

The last time her father attempted his nightly visit was the summer before her freshman year in high school. This time she snapped and fought back! She thought here I am ready to start high school. I should be excited! Looking forward to dating, prom, graduation, normal teenage stuff! Not trying to avoid being bedded by my dad!!!

Things escalated very quickly. Neighbors called the police and her dear old dad made her out to be an out of control teenager and her mom didn’t say otherwise. So she knew she had to leave and soon!

I might as well let you know she never made amends with her parents. Although her mother held out hope that she  would one day return home. She didn’t. Unfortunately, her mother died of a heart attack never having the opportunity to make amends.

Her dad sent many letters via the only family member she stayed in communication with. However, she could never bring herself to read any of his letters. So they remained unopened.

By the time she received her father’s final letter he had passed.

After his death she finally read all of his letters. Her father in his latter years  had come to know the Lord Jesus Christ and had repented of his sins. Which prompted the need for him to apologize and ask her, his daughter for forgiveness.

He desperately wanted the opportunity for his daughter to see the new man he had become through the power and love of Jesus Christ.

He sought counseling and eventually started sharing his shameful past as an offender of both Domestic Abuse and Child Abuse at forums and support groups.

Thankfully, she too had been introduced to the healing love of Christ. As a born again Christian she learned “that Christ Jesus would deal with all her oppressors and change her shame into praise.”

She’s now a mother. Married to a God fearing man. During the birth of her son her husband said a prayer over him and as he presented his son to her he said. “Dear Woman, here is your son!” and “Here is your mother!”

She learned a lot from her painful past. One of the most important lessons is the need of a Savior; it’s Only the Love of Jesus that enables us to release the things that have caused us pain and suffering. It’s Only the Love of Jesus that enables one to forgive.

It’s Only the Love of Jesus that teaches us how to truly Love! For there should be no fear in love!

With the bible as her guide she along with her husband will teach their son what love is and how to love the way Christ loves!

 

As far back as I can recall, my parents have been anti religious. They consider themselves atheist. Interestingly enough, I’ve always found it easy to believe in a God with ultimate power. Creating intricacies such as the universe and the human body which has the ability to sustain and bring forth life! Who else could do such marvelous work other than a God I often wondered.

However, my father believed that it was a person’s lack of motivation and self worth that made them believe in a God who could bring about a better future.  He said those who believed in God were content to sit back and wait on their imaginary God to make things happen. Instead of going out taking life by the horns! Like him who was a go getter and acquired all he had in life on his own strength! “Now hallelujah that!” He would always say.

So because religion had never been part of my life aside from my parents occasional heated dialogue regarding these poor misguided religious fanatics. I had no reason to care one way or the other. Not until my freshman year when students on campus held a prayer vigil for a missing student who happened to be my dorm mate.

When I attended the vigil I started to look at things a little differently. These people didn’t seem fanatical at all.They weren’t waving bibles around and speaking in strange tongues. And the prayers were actually very nice and comforting even to me! Especially since everyone was hoping against hope or I guess praying would be more accurate my dorm mate would be found alive.

Over the next several days the Christians kept the vigils going and offered words of comfort to everyone! Still no bible thumping or strange tongues.

In fact, they offered special prayers to their God on behalf of me her dorm mate! They said if I wanted someone to pray with they were there for me. I assured them I wouldn’t require prayer but I might want to talk. There was no judgement or self righteous holier than thou attitude. Just support!

Unlike my folks who toot their horns every chance they get about not relying on anyone but themselves!

To my surprise, the Christians weren’t just standing by waiting on their God to work a miracle. Students were organizing events to raise reward money. Others were posting pictures in the surrounding towns.

On a particularly stressful day when my dorm mate’s abandoned car was found, one of the Christians called and asked if I needed to talk. It said a lot about her character that she said talk and not pray. She showed respect to me in spite of my belief system or I guess lack of.

I again started to wonder if it wasn’t my parents who were the fanatics?

Days stretched into weeks and weeks into a month when my dorm mate’s body was discovered. She had been murdered! I immediately wondered how I was going to get through this. How would her family and the people who knew and loved her were going to cope?

My parents phoned wanting to know if I was ok and if I needed to come home to talk things out.  I told them I thought I needed to stay at the school and offer support to the other students and friends of my dorm mate. My mom said “of course dear.” “Call if you need to talk!”

As soon as I ended that call my phone rang again and it was one of the Christian students asking if I had heard the news. She said she was sending out a message to the student population to gather in the student lounge for prayer and hoped I would join.

Of course was my response! I felt the need to be around people and at this point felt the need for the softly spoken words of comfort that came by way of prayer.

There were hundreds of students gathered in the student lounge and in the adjoining garden! The head of the Christian student group spoke about the tragic news and then began to pray.

As the prayer intensified I started to feel a strong but comforting presence. Before long the presence started to overwhelm the atmosphere and me! I looked around to see if anyone else appeared to notice. Students had their hands up as if reaching to be embraced by or caught up by the presence. Obviously I wasn’t the only one who was experiencing the phenomenon!

When things wrapped up the student leader found me in the dispersing crowd. She gave me a hug that scared and seemed to ignite me at the same time! The presence seemed to have almost consumed her entire being. As she loosened her embrace of me with hands on my shoulders she looked at me and asked if I was ok. I told her that I felt an overwhelming presence during the vigil and during her embraced. She smiled and said “that presence you are experiencing is the Holy Spirit of the Living God Jesus Christ!

I was floored! I looked at her in shock and awe! She laughed and said “you have just been in the presence of the Savior of the world!” Then she said with a serious tone “the experiences you’ve had this past month has opened the eyes of your heart.” “God is reaching out to you!” She then asked if she could pray with me.

I said yes! I believed what she was saying to me because I indeed felt this presence, something I’ve never experienced before.
She told me after she prayed the prayer of salvation with me that this was only the beginning.  She said the Lord was so much more than what I just witnessed and felt at the vigil!

She explained I now had to do my part and learn of Him.
Back in  my room I was still very much aware of the presence that overwhelmed the atmosphere during the vigil. I decided to call my parents and make plans to go home in a few weeks. I needed to share with them my experience!

I must admit that the thought of my parent’s reaction has me a little concerned. However, I now know the Lord God to be real! So I plan to stand firmly on this come what may!

As I said at the beginning of my story, I found it easier to believe in a God creating mankind than just some cosmic coincidence. I guess the Lord God must have believed in me! Believed that one day I would make the right decision and so planted that seed of faith.

I’m really looking forward to joining the group for bible study! It’s hard to explain but I’m sure those of you who are saved will understand. Understand when I say, I Thirst!

Thirst for knowledge and understanding of the Lord Jesus Christ! And I can’t wait to quench my thirst!